Rosencrantz and Guildernstern are Dead

Acclaimed as a modern dramatic masterpiece, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead is the fabulously inventive tale of Hamlet as told from the worm’s-eye view of the bewildered Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, two minor characters in Shakespeare’s play. In Tom Stoppard’s best-known work, this Shakespearean Laurel and Hardy finally get a chance to take the lead role, but do so in a world where echoes of Waiting for Godotresound, where reality and illusion intermix, and where fate leads our two heroes to a tragic but inevitable end.

Denmark Times


It has recently been brought to our attention that Laurel Rosencrantz and Hardy Guildenstern have died.  Close friends of our almost king now monk Hamlet, their untimely demise came as a shock, seeing how our fair country has only recently regained a peaceful status due to recent wars.

Laurel and Hardy were good boys.  They attended weekly mass, rarely gambled, and didn’t chase after the tavern girls like most boys their age.  In fact, the duo rarely did anything but eat, and discuss their warped views on the world.  Upstanding members of our community they truly were.

Brother Hamlet will be presiding over their funeral this Thursday.  His presence has been a matter of contention for some time, because back when he was being treated for depression he predicted his friend’s demise this very week, and some have speculated that he himself arranged their death.  This is highly unlikely, as the last time they spoke was months ago when he bequeathed the pair most of his earthly goods.

Instead of flowers, the families of the individuals have asked for well wishers to bring gardening tools, as now they are two men short for the coming planting season and in need of a little extra help.


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